Lover's Eyes
by IrrationallySpeaking
Summary: (AU) What if something different were to happen to Booth that night in the Checker Box? Takes place at the end of Wannabe in the Weeds. Takes from Booth's perspective in heaven. The title and description aren't very leading, but it's a good story line.
1. Chapter 1

I called her to meet with me at the Checker Box. It was cheesy, I know. But I wanted to hear her sing. I could tell she had a beautiful voice by the way she talked. I was so excited; I hoped it didn't show too much.

But I guess it doesn't matter now.

When she walked in, the room just lit up. The confused look on her face made her look even cuter. I invited all the Squints so it didn't seem so obvious. When she asked me what was going on, I told her exactly what was happening. Well, kind of. I told her that I got everything set up so that she could sing in front of a live audience. But I really invited her here so she could sing for me. I knew she'd never do it in front of me alone, so this was the second best option.

When she looked at me with that beautiful smile filled with anxiousness and confidence, I knew she was going to be great. When she threw her coat on the ground, I knew she was about to throw it all out on the table.

And then she sang. Her voice was unlike anything I'd ever heard before. Maybe it was just my feelings towards her, but it was the best thing I'd ever heard. I was having so much fun, and I could tell she was too. I just hated how she was so oblivious to the fact that I brought her here for me. It was okay though. We'd both been so oblivious to the fact that we were so wrong, but so right for each other for the longest time. But my heart led me through it. I didn't know if telling her was the right thing to do.

But now I wish I did.

I was really getting into it; I know I shouldn't have. Cam probably noticed, possibly Angela too. I just loved seeing her so happy. My happiness was contingent upon her happiness. I was about to jump up there and sing with her when I heard it; my name. My _first_ name. No one ever called me Seeley. And I was pretty sure that one of my exes didn't visit town just to drop in and see how I was doing. It wasn't Cam either, not her voice. So I turned around. Probably the best ideas I'd ever made. Because if I didn't turn around, it be her up here, not me.

Then I felt it. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. But that's probably because I was dying. It felt more like a bee sting, really. The thing that more was when I fell to the ground. Those stairs weren't very soft. But then I felt her. She was on me. It sent an urge through me like nothing before. But then I realized she was just searching for my gun. She shot that stalker. I'm glad she did.

More than anything I wanted to kiss her. More than anything I wanted to tell her that I loved her. The thing that hurt the most was that I couldn't think straight. It hurt most that we would never be able to have that love for 30, or 40, or 50 years. The last words I heard were "Come on, Booth!" from the most imperfect perfect woman I'd ever met. I'm glad I had the chance to even lay eyes on her.

It was hard for everyone to accept I was gone at first. Even me. Being dead isn't really all that fun. But at least I'm in heaven. At least I'd caught as many bad guys as threats I'd assassinated... But eventually people got over it. And by people I mean Bones and Zack. I could never really understand why they were so cold hearted. I was kind of disappointed when the small amount of people that showed up at my ceremony did. Rebecca wasn't even there. My son wasn't even there. I hope they at least know I'm gone.

I hated seeing people cry over my death. It's just another part of life. They all needed to get over it. Not as quickly as Bones did, but they should have been over it by now. I know it sounds kind of self centred, but the way Bones talks about me now, I couldn't have been that bad, could I? I thought I was a pretty decent partner, for what I had to put up with. Put any other agent in that field, and they're gone within a week. Bones isn't bad, it's just you have to see things through her mind sometimes. Which by the way, is very hard to do.

It's been almost a month now, and everyone has gone back to their regular doings. Without me. It kind of breaks my heart, but I guess God agreed that it was time for me to go. Spying on my friends isn't really the best job in the world, but I guess it's the only job I've got now. Things were getting steamy with Hodgins and Angela. I liked seeing them happy. Cam, well, she'd been on a few dates. Zack, he was just being weird like usual. But Bones, she was staying at the lab later, and later every night. It was really starting to bother me. She needed to get out of that place. I always really, really hated that place. It was too clean, too perfect. One thing I really wanted to do before I died was just ram a tank through that thing. And I would have had a smile on my face doing it... Wow, I got sidetracted. Now back to spying on Bones. She's been the one I've kept my eye on the most. She's really letting herself go. She's not taking as much care of herself as she used to. Oh, there she goes, into her office yet again. Hey wait, who's that guy with her?


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey, Bones! What the hell?" Dammit, she can't hear me. "I really don't like the looks of that guy, you know!"

I hate this. I hate not being able to touch anything. I hate not being able to talk to her. I hate that I can't go back to my office and pretend I don't care that I see her out with another man, all the while running a background check on him.

She must really like this guy. She's dressed very well. Wow, she looks beautiful. Hey, wait don't leave with him yet! "Bones be careful! He could be another one of those murderous bastards like you've went out with before!" Ugh, this is useless. I just wanted you to be mine, you know? I just wanted that one special moment where I could kiss you, and we could have lost ourselves in one another. But it really doesn't matter now, does it? I know you never felt about me that way I felt about you. I _still_ feel that way. And I always will. I'll always love you Bones. Even if you do decide to go on dates with serial killers.

I decided to leave her be on her date. Mostly because I couldn't stand to see her with a man other than me, but I guess she deserved some privacy too. I knew she'd come back to the lab. That's all she ever did now. But when I saw her, with that red mark on her face; I knew something was wrong.

That's it. That guy's dead. I'm going to kill him. "Bones, hey, Bones!" I don't know if I can do this. I can't stand to see her hurt. She's so beautiful, so perfect, why would that bastard even touch her? This is too hard. I thought heaven would be fun, you know? Why is it that I'm stuck behind whatever the hell this is not being able to help the people I love? That's it. There's only one thing left to do.

"Hi, uh, yes. Last name Brennan. Yes, Bren-nan. An. Line, what line?! I'm not fucking waiting here all day, her daughters in trouble, she's hurt, and I need to see her now!" This is ridiculous. There's no one else I can see. "There's no one else. Please." This whole calm thing isn't really my forte. "Really?! Thank you so much!"

I think I'm lost. Heaven's a hard place to get around if you're new. At least I'm close. Booth is close to Brennan, so I can't be too off my track if I really am lost. Hmm, let's see. Oh! Breckin, Brennish, Brennan! Hah, wasn't that hard. "Hello?" I really hope she's here. "Um, Christine Brennan?.." Damn, I thought she'd be here. "Yes?" Whoa, what was that? "Christine Brennan?"

"Again, I'll reply with yes."

"Wow, hi. My name is, well I'm-"

"Seeley Booth. I know. You worked with my daughter."

"Yes, I was her partner."

"I think we both know you were more than partners."

What is she saying? She doesn't know how I feel. And Bones obviously doesn't love me. She was too scared to ever let anyone in.

"No. We just worked together. Side by side. You could have called us Scully and Mulder."

"Oh, you mean the couple that got together?"

Fuck. What is she seeing that I can't? "Well as you can see, I'm kind of up here and she's kind of down there." Dammit, my cheeks are on fire.

"But your love won't stop will it?"

"How do you even know all this?"

"Well, if you haven't noticed what you're doing..."

"Oh..." Hey, wait a minute. "You were spying on me? But I don't even know who you are!"

"But yet you know enough of me to come and pay a visit."

Damn cheeks! "Well, yeah. Bones and I worked your murder, and well you see Bones is in trouble. She's hurt and I can't do anything about it! It's tearing me up inside, she's so helpless-"

"Temperance Brennan. Helpless? I beg to differ."

"She was hit! By her date, and I can't do anything about it!"

"..And you don't love her?"

"What is with you, and this concept of love?"

"There's so much and so little of it. I was hoping my daughter got to see the better side of it. With you. You're a good man, Seeley Booth."

"Yeah, well now we won't even get the chance. I came here because I was wondering how you can handle all of this. She's hurt and I don't know if I can stand one more minute seeing her without me-" smooth one, Booth "Uh, seeing my friends without me."

"Or maybe it's just because you can't stand seeing them move on."

"No, I wanted them to move on!"

"It never gets easier, Seeley Booth."

"Booth is just fine."

"There's always jealousy. There's always love. There's always envy. Heaven won't change that. Hell won't change that. Death won't change that. Life won't change that."

"But I'm not jealous! I have no envy! I wasn't, I'm not-"

"You're in love, Booth. Lie to me all you want, but don't ever lie to yourself."

"Why does it matter? There's nothing I can do about it now." This is getting ridiculous. Why am I telling her something I couldn't even tell her daughter? "I came here for one question, and you didn't even give me the answer. So I'm just going to leave now, I don't like talking about love."

"Well you liked talking about it with my daughter."

"That's because I loved her!" That's it. I'm done. Just walk away Booth, don't listen to what she's going to say. Why isn't she saying anything? No. Don't turn around, that's exactly what she wants you to do. Dammit! "Why aren't you saying anything?" Stop smiling at me like that. "You're making me uncomfortable."

"I found that when I was watching you, you seemed to tell the truth when you were angry."

"Yeah, well I hope you're happy. Now I understand where Bones gets it from. She loves studying things. Well I'm not something to be studied. I'm not a pile of bones. I'm a person. I think with my heart, not with my head. That's why I could find love. Maybe for once, if Bones just put her brain into neutral and her heart into overdrive, she might be able to even grasp the way I see things." Booth, you're getting yourself into some big shit here. "Yeah, and you know what? Maybe if she let me love her, she wouldn't be so lonely! Maybe for once if one of our lingering glances pulled us in a little closer we would have kissed. She would have lost herself in me. And I would have lost myself in her. But she never gave it the chance; she never gave _us_ the chance. And now it's too late. I'm gone, and can't protect her and have her for myself. She can get hurt without me threatening the bastard. I can't swoop in to save the day. And that's what tears me apart. What if she needs me? I can't be there and that's what's not okay. I believed that love was transcendent and eternal, and I just wanted her to believe that too. This is so hard. Seeing her going on dates, that should be me. But seeing her get beaten, I should be there beating the bastard myself. And you know if I was down there, she would have never even been on that date. I would have done a background check on that scum bag and half her face wouldn't be bruised. This whole situation is not okay. I'm not okay with any of this. I'm not going to be able to live with the torture of seeing her have pleasure without me. I should be the one giving her pleasure. I should be the one making love to her. Not Bobby, or Joe or Different Dick. Me. Seeley Joseph Booth. I'd love her right. I'd show her what love is. I'd love her with my last breath. I'd tell her everyday that I loved her. I'd kiss her until her lips hurt. But not now. Not anymore. Because some fat... bitch decided to shoot me! I hope she's not in heaven because she wouldn't last long here." Booth, what the fuck are you doing?! "We were going to have that storybook love, you know? She'd be my princess and I'd save her from all the bad things in the world. And what if she didn't need saving? I'd save her anyways. Because that's what love is. Over compensating for something you've already got."

And that was it. I walked away. I had to go check on my Bones.

Reviews would be great! The story is going to take a bit of a turn soon, and I'd like to keep writing. But if no one reads it I'll stop. If you've read it, thanks!


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